[Only fresh parsley is fresh parsley
so don’t go trying to cheat.]
You also need a pack of saltines.
[…see above on that too; no,
no one is paying me to say this]
Chop a fat fistful of parsley into a bowl.
You will need a can of sardine filets
in olive oil [NOT whole sardines, dummy,
sardine filets and only olive oil will do.]
Open the tin and pour the excess oil
into the parsley and be sure that every
shred of leaf is thoroughly inbibed, get it?
Spread a bit of this on each saltine
before placing a filet on top. Crown
with scimitars of yellow onion
[dont cut dull ring slices, shave a bit
off so you can get more onion on each sardine]
Listen: If he can say that wasn’t a pipe,
surely I can say this is not a recipe.
In passing: it’s the parsley that enables your body
to extract all the good iron from sardines…which helps,
if you are low on iron but can’t stand eating the liver
of sweet little mammals – and don’t bother me
with plant iron. I’m not green yet.